All the good men.

My journey over and beyond the cancer seas.

I see you. All of you. My dear brothers. And I want to acknowledge your presence in my life, now and throughout my journey with this cancer story and in the rebuilding of me. Today my car broke down, and I was humbled by the relief of being caught by male practical simplicity. A thing that I think men do so well, to be of service when it counts. My garage men, of course I have two! Both showed up to help at different points of the rescue, as did a total stranger in the guise of a breakdown bloke. And it got me reflecting upon the incredible gift that my brothers are to me. And I want to take a moment to honour all of you and to tell you that you are doing great. Sure you are not perfect, but then us women are not perfect either. To me you are all so precious.

I see you when you reached out to offer that treatment after a long clinic, with no thought of payment. When you arrived to drive me to an appointment, kindly getting a message to the nurses when you found I had left my phone in your car. When you messaged words of care and encouragement, out of the blue, at my moments of unutterable sorrow. When you encouraged my writing and my voice. When you held me in your strong arms after a year of little contact. When you arrived like a stealthy postman to deliver potions and medicines to soften the blow of the chemotherapy, and paid for it all with no hesitation. When you ushered me on a bus after I crashed in a first foray out into the world. When you helped guide me in learning Tai Chi, one as a teacher and another as a compadre. There are so many stories over this past year of your kindness. So many of you out there that are invested in helping me to live and thrive. So many good men.

Its a hard process to go through alone and yet I was never alone. I had my community of sisters and it was incredibly easy for me to tell them how their presence shaped me. And I will likely write of them soon. Of course I did tell each of you men about how much you supported me all the way through. Yet, I feel compelled to tell the world that I feel so lucky to know so many utterly great men. And I want you all to hear it, to take it in and to feel seen.

Over the years I have been a party to numerous conversations with women about what men mean when they talk to women, what men want from women. And yet it is all so simple really. We all as humans want to be seen and cherished and of value in our world. Its just that men and women have differing ways of expressing this. Perhaps we can focus more upon the otherness of the sexes. What I mean to say is, I am willing to continue hearing and learning the language of the men in my world. In my experience men express in the form of doing rather than speaking. In the silence of holding rather than emotional outpouring. And you are all so perfect in your maleness.

This sister for one could not have done it without you all.

I bow my head and put a hand on my heart in thanks.




Journeying through cancer lands and life beyond

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Lys Lily Wild

Lys Lily Wild

Journeying through cancer lands and life beyond

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