Surrendered Deconstruction

Ding Ding round one of chemo.

A motley crew was aboard the chemo lounge on my first session. I was in the care of a lovely agency nurse, who proffered me a seeming never ending array of crafty things to make and take away. It was quite amusing in a distracting sort of way, and definitely took the edge off the various chemo fluids that were entering my vein. Three others were in the room receiving treatment. A rather jokey lady opposite who kept staring at my shaved head and was intent on engaging me in conversation. Not today my love, need to focus a bit. So I wrote in my journal. Another lady was diagonal from me and had to stay really still as she had a cannula instead of a picc line, which is a pig from the point of view of non movement during the 2 to 3 hours chemo ride, including the loo. And later an elderly gent joined us and started to chat me up. Hilarious really, but he was sweet enough. So all in all it was odd but ok.

Now I’ve just about had enough time to integrate the first chemo round to feed back to you all. I chose to document my journey a few months ago and have since been unflinchingly honest about the allopathic side of my treatments. But on a deeper level my journey has always been one of integration between both alternate and allopathic. Its about an integrative approach, even acknowledged by my oncology nurse today. And at this juncture I feel its crucial to touch on some of the non medical routes that are supporting my process through.

And so that brings me to my present. Working with two protocols. The first is the chemotherapy, which as we know is lab created chemical based and designed to eradicate fast acting cancer cells. The main sensation from this has been bone deep exhaustion, everything feels like a mission and quite honestly I could sleep at any moment. In the first few days I was high as a kite on steroids, which gave me some false manic energy. Honestly the amount I got done in the first 24hrs after chemo was ridiculous, including sewing a pair of jeans, drawing a badger, writing masses, dancing, yeah you get the gist. Steroids are a wild ride and yet an acceptable one in the eyes of society.

This brings me onto the other protocol I am working with, that of full spectrum cannabis oil. Back in January after the mastectomy I used a great topical ointment version that was a saving grace for all the post op pain. And now I am being kindly supplied with suppositories, oil and tincture. The exciting thing for me in this particular protocol is that it is a combined mix of both the male and female plants. Which simplistically means that the usual high of a full spectrum is tempered, and balanced. As I understand it, all endocannabinoid receptors are activated to the fullest healing potentiality with a full spectrum oil. Which means in simple terms that homeostasis is supported and re-established throughout many systems in the body including sleep, inflammation, pain and appetite. All things that the chemo ruffles.

There will undoubtedly be those who may be sceptical about my choice to do this protocol alongside the chemotherapy. Or maybe not. Ironically it has been deemed ok by my medical team. And I have to say that it is helping immensely. The internal deconstruction that is occurring in my system with the chemicals is slow and onerous, said to get more cumulative as the rounds progress. So the peace I am feeling with a mild lift from the cannabis is a bloody relief. I’m not a smoker, never have been a recreational drug taker or even a drinker. Quite honestly I’m a total light weight. But for now I am happy to be riding the waves with the combined forces of both sides of the story.

All hail to the integrated path.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Lys Lily Wild

Lys Lily Wild

Journeying through cancer lands and life beyond