Dartmoor

There is hope beyond the bed.

Lys Lily Wild
4 min readFeb 10, 2023

--

My journey beyond the cancer seas.

Something about the making of my bed really works for me in the morning. The acknowledgement of closing the door on sleep as the diurnal rhythms dictate my foray into the day, soothes me.

Straightening the duvet, fluffing the pillow, shaking out and laying the wool blanket. My winter bed, it wouldn’t be full and ready without the stone coloured tartan blanket. The silk pillow in kingfisher blue feels soft under my touch and a little out of place in the schemata of the bedding. But hey, this bright silk pillow has earned its place. It softened the blow of being bald during chemo a few years past, so here it stays.

All done, I smile and sigh. Every morning the same smile and sigh. Its just a moment. Insignificant and yet worth writing of here. Because, as with all the seeming insignificant moments there is often more profound meaning.

In this moment there is chance for transition. Sleeping into waking, dreaming into reality. Although I for one definitely still dream when I’m awake, but you get my drift. With it, with this act of smoothing those covers. I feel a sense of completion. A sense of journey, that until now I hadn’t understood. Sure, I’ve read in self help books over the years that making your bed is one of the top habits for successful people. But its more than just ordering your space.

So much of the time we talk about transition or change and view the impeding moment as if it were a mighty bulldozer here to crush the life out of us. And there are moments in our lives that change is that harsh. That our decisions are profound and life changing and followed by anxiety, indecision, fear, disassociation. You know these transitions. We all do. But here in this simple act of bed making we are laying foundations.

Yesterday I spoke on a Facebook webinar with the group ‘Stepping into your sovereign self’ on the topic of hopelessness. I had spent the morning out on the moors in Devon, pondering what that topic meant to me. To a greater or lesser extent I believe our sense of hope is intrinsically linked into our connectedness or lack thereof. But more than this it is the little things that count. When the host asked for a snippet of advice for listeners, I spoke about the challenge of the cup of tea. That being the act of doing, in this case the making a cup of tea for someone else. Which focuses our attention upon service and the world outside ourself.

I think it can help us to realise that the world does not revolve around us. That we are part of a greater whole and thus significant as part of that. I also spoke of the story challenge that is the next step on from making the cup of tea. Simply that you share and hear a story from the person you made the cup of tea for. Sounds easy? Of course it is if we are feeling good and hopeful. Not so easy if we are not. But what this will do is to allow you to be seen, to be heard and to hear. Valuable moments of humanity that can break through any underlying despair.

Lord knows the issues we are tussling with are huge in our world. And in our personal lives equally as earth shattering at times.

Here is where the small things like the bed making, tea making or story telling can help us to develop the muscle of transitions and change. How these seemingly inconsequential activities are the very tools for growth we need in this world.

I am beginning to understand how simple life is. Or rather how simple it can be. So, I challenge you to not only make your bed, but to savour the moment. That sweet moment you chose to step into the start of this day. Take in the colours, feel the textures of your bedding. Smile at this simple act of self care and how it has set you up for your life and your ability to navigate transition and change.

For more stories about who I am becoming you can check out my website www.wildrelys.com

Life is unfolding. Oh, and so far half my yearly scans for the breast cancer are clear.

Wishing you all a great day!

--

--